Is your inner voice your own worst enemy?
Do you know what I am are referring to when asked: “what does your inner voice say?”
You know the voice, for some, it’s always nagging. Most people ignore it, or at THINK they do.
There’s a “Good” inner voice and a “Bad” one, or some may say they have an angel and a devil on their shoulder. The Angel maybe the empowering one, always pushing you to run those last few yards! Reminding you that you CAN achieve whatever you set out to do. You are beautiful and worthy. You’re always almost there; you HAVE to keep moving. This voice tells you that it will always be ok, but not everyone is blessed to have an inner voice like this one.
The “bad” inner voice is a “defeatist, punitive, panic-ridden, and humiliating” one. It’s always telling the opposite of what we need to hear, and we have no idea what is happening. Some examples of stuff it’ll say are the following (might sound familiar):
“You disgust me.”
“No surprise, things always go to **** with you.”
“You use this little idiot.”
“You are a quitter.”
“You don’t deserve ____.”
Where did all of that even come from? It typically begins from a very young age, someone told us this or similar, and because we were young, we believed it. And no matter how hard we try to ignore the voices, our subconscious listens to anyways. As we grow up, the voice will become louder, become what we believe, and our actions follow.
Who would negatively speak to a young child? Remember as a young child we don’t know what is real and what isn’t (Santa for instance), here are some people that have a significant impact on us:
A harassed or angry parent
A mean babysitter
A dreadful sibling
An extended family member that was critical of everything
A schoolyard bully
A teacher who seemed impossible to please
Really anyone that cared or took care of us…
If we want to be happy, we need to stop believing in these voices and replace them with new phrases and believe in them.
It will take some time, but it is also well worth it.
Surrounding yourself with people that speak highly and positively of you is critical. If you’re a grown adult and put down or spoken to frequently in a negative manner, this will prevent you from breaking this cycle.
One way to determine if your thoughts are healthy is to ask yourself if you’d say these words to a five-year-old. If the answer is NO, then these words are keeping you stuck.
We now live in a world where most of the people we know are:
Have Short Tempers
Short attention spans
Flip out over the smallest life events
When we spend a lot of time around these types of people, we act and behave in similar ways.
Next steps, get support and help (from me preferably) to uncover and learn ways to quiet the devil and bring out the angel voices. Start distancing yourself from toxic people. Be open to meeting more positive, supportive, like-minded people.